Цивилизация троечников и психопатов — о конспирологии вокруг коронавируса: izwest — LiveJournal

НА ГЛАВНУЮ / К НОВОСТЯМ

Но если вам не хочется расставаться с собственным «тайным знанием», пусть оно будет заключаться только в имбире, лимонах и малиновом варенье. От них хотя бы вреда не будет. А сода, перекись и отбеливатель пусть лучше стоят в кладовке. …И да, ещё раз, кокс – НЕ ПОМОГАЕТ!

За Фукусиму рептилоиды в ответе,Поклоняются Дьяволу американские дети,

На планету Нибиру посылают сигналы,

В мир древних Майя открывая порталы

Анна Чапман мне открыла глаза,

Теперь я знаю то, что знать нельзя.

Птичка поёт в лесу,

Рыбка плывёт в пруду,

Жук скарабей спит в пирамиде,

А Гитлер живёт в Антарктиде!

Б.А.У, альбом «Пир во время чумы»

Несмотря на то что пандемия коронавируса продолжает уносить человеческие жизни и причинять множество неудобств экономике и обществу, постоянное напряжение изматывает человека, тем более что для большинства из нас не требуется совершать ничего активного, помимо правил самоизоляции. У некоторых начинает ехать крыша, и, чтобы она не поехала и у нас тоже, давайте в целях профилактики ознакомимся с уже имеющимися примерами помешательства. Заодно и улыбнёмся!

Мы уже писали о том, как пандемия обнажает идиотизм, ранее скрывавшийся под маской нормальности, и провоцирует на агрессивную истерию – например, на массовое уничтожение вышек сотовой связи. Но было бы просто огромным идеализмом считать, что этим всё ограничится! О, нет! Мы собрали для вас подборку самых красивых случаев помешательства, связанных с COVID-19.

Начнём с лечения. Вакцины, как известно, пока нет. Но лечиться-то – НАДО! Согласитесь, как-то безответственно, легкомысленно и недопустимо, попав в ситуацию эпидемии, не успокоить свою психику «тайным знанием» о «секретном снадобье». Причём, разумеется, это должна быть не собачья моча или козьи кишки, а желательно что-то приятное – чтобы лечиться можно было с удовольствием, много и охотно. Отечественные знатоки моментально решили, что лучший способ «продезинфицировать» себя изнутри – это «протереть» санитайзером все внутренние органы. Санитайзер, само собой, должен содержать спирт, и лучше всего – в пропорции 40% с водой. Ещё табачный дым неплохо помогает, говорят, прочистить носоглотку от частиц вируса.

Но отечественная смекалочка меркнет перед смекалочкой западного мира! Там решили не мелочиться, а поднять иммунитет радикально – кокаином. Эффект виден практически мгновенно, принимать при первых симптомах болезни – усталости, депрессии, разбитом самочувствии. Минздрав Франции был вынужден даже специально сообщить ЗОЖникам-наркоманам, что нет, это не работает:

Цивилизация троечников и психопатов — о конспирологии вокруг коронавируса

Нет денег на кокс? Не беда, берём отбеливатель! Да-да, обычный щелочной отбеливатель – главное, чтобы на нём была этикетка MMS — Miracle Mineral Supplement (Чудесная Минеральная Добавка), которую доверчивым американским лохам уже не первый год как впаривают в роли средства от всего – от СПИДа до аутизма. Особенно на чудодейственность в борьбе с COVID-19 упирали сторонники теории QAnon – мы к ним ещё вернёмся!

Но было бы, что ни говори, несправедливо, высмеяв иностранных дураков, проигнорировать наших. Много лет уже бессменно держит оборону против официальной медицины секта «профессора Неумывакина», члены которой лечат все болезни содой и перекисью водорода. Гуглим новости из жизни этих алхимиков – и да, они не разочаровывают: от коронавируса эти средства предсказуемо «помогают» тоже! «Специалист по питанию объяснила, что коронавирус действует в совокупности с искусственно созданной бактерией в США «синтия», которая была создана после масштабного разлива нефти в Мексиканском заливе. Привычными методами собрать её было невозможно. Бактерия съедает углеродные соединения. Употребление содового раствора дает дополнительную пищу для бактерии и отвлекает их от пагубного влияния на клетки организма. Таким образом, путь к клеткам человека коронавирусу будет закрыт».Но если вы как-то не рассчитали пропорции соды в перекиси водорода и вирус таки смог проникнуть в ваш обработанный всеми целебными средствами организм, не спешите соглашаться на госпитализацию! Уже успели выяснить, что ИВЛ может быть гораздо, гораздо смертоноснее, чем сам коронавирус! Даже, можно сказать, убивают именно сами аппараты, а вирус – вообще ни при чём. Власти, как обычно, всё дружно скрывают…

Теперь, разогревшись, перейдём к самому вкусному – к версии сторонников движения QAnon (да, тех самых, рекламирующих поглощение отбеливателя) о происхождении пандемии, а точнее, что она собой призвана скрыть! Оказывается (расскажут вам), всё дело в том, что «тысячи детей тайно содержатся в плену у богатых и влиятельных людей, которые торгуют ими в туннелях под крупными городами. По словам участников движения, больничный корабль используется для того, чтобы тайно спасти этих детей от сексуального рабства, и их лечат в больнице Центрального парка». Вы поняли? Никакой пандемии нет – есть огромная спецоперация Дональда Трампа, который использует коронавирусное прикрытие как завесу при применении спецслужб и армии, чтобы спасти детишек из рук подземных педофилов (демократов, разумеется) и потом долго лечить их в палатах с искусственной вентиляцией лёгких на госпитальном судне. Ради такого не жалко закрыть весь Нью-Йорк на карантин! Чувствуете, как основательные американцы далеко ушли от наивных бриташек с их «распространяющим коронавирус 5G»? Странно, что в этой картине мира не нашлось места «Зоне 51» — налицо недоработка!

И, конечно же, не проходите мимо ещё одной крайне популярной точки зрения о роли Била Гейтса во всём этом! Гейтс ВОЗ спонсирует? Спонсирует! О необходимости борьбы с перенаселением говорил? Говорил! Ну и вот! Правда, борьба получается какая-то совсем неэффективная – из почти 9 миллиардов человек «сократилось» всего каких-то сто тысяч, но кто настолько любит Билла Гейтса, чтобы обращать внимание на подобные нестыковки? Ах да, ещё ВОЗ и Гейтс готовят всеобщее чипирование под видом вакцинации – и эти планы раскрыл миру наш соотечественник, теннисист Марат Сафин, которого вовремя предупредили неизвестные поклонники его спортивного таланта. Погодите, это уже какое по счёту чипирование со времён прихода «печати антихриста» под видом присвоения индивидуальных налоговых номеров?!

Теперь вы знаете ВСЮ ПРАВДУ! Не бойтесь взглянуть ей в глаза – истина порой сбивает с ног! Впрочем, если, несмотря на все сказанное выше, вам не хочется расставаться с собственным «тайным знанием», пусть оно будет заключаться только в имбире, лимонах и малиновом варенье. От них хотя бы вреда не будет. А сода, перекись и отбеливатель пусть лучше стоят в кладовке.

…И да, ещё раз, кокс – НЕ ПОМОГАЕТ!

Григорий Игнатов

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